The Christmas Card

We finally arrived home after our whirlwind road trip.  I am very busy and very behind and my laundry pile might have eaten Lucy.  She sure is quiet in there.

Lucy?  Quiet? 

Has the world gone mad?

Friends are coming over in two hours.  The house needs to be vaccuumed.

I promised myself I wouldn’t blog.

I always let myself down.

So.  I don’t have time to do a full recap.  Wouldn’t be prudent at this juncture. (Name that actor). 

I will, however, make time for a Goober Parent Update.

For they bring life and joy and purpose to this blog.

***

For this trip, our group involved my parents, my family, my sister, and my niece and nephew.  My brother and his wife could not come, but they sent their kids along.  It is somewhat rare for all six of my parents’ grandchildren to be together at once, seeing as how my brother and I live two and a half hours away from each other.

As we were driving, my mother had an epiphany.

This is never good.

Mom:  Hey!  Taylor!  Can you take a picture of all the grandkids for a Christmas card?

Me:  Mom.  Today is December 17th.  And we are on a vacation.  How are you going to pull this off?

Dear Readers.  Do you remember my Christmas card drama with her last year? 

What would this woman do without me?

No.

This woman is not able to accomplish this great feat on her own.

Why?

Because:

A)  She does not ever know where her camera is.

B)  If she did know where it was, the batteries would be dead.

C)  If the batteries were alive and juicy, the memory card would be full.

Fun Fact:  Whenever my mom’s memory card is full, she simply buys a new one.

D)  If the memory card had space, she would not know how to use the timer.

E)  If she did actually get a picture, she would not know how to extract the picture from the tricky camera.

F)  If she was able to get the picture onto the computer (and trust me, she could not) she would not know how to upload it to Costco.

Fun Fact:  If I tell her to go to www.costco.com, she tells me it will be easier to just Google it.

Question:  Who told this woman about Google?

Even Funner Fact:  Once she forgot how to find Google, so she went to Yahoo and searched for it.

G)  If she does get this picture to Costco, she will not know how to make a card.

H)  If she did make a card, she would not know how to order the cards.

I)  If she did place an order, finding her Costco membership number would be a hurdle.

J)  If she did order the cards, she would never find the time to pick them up.

K)  She would also forget to buy stamps.

And, in conclusion,

L)  She never knows where her address book is.

The woman should just give up her dreams of a Christmas card.

Nevertheless.

I was there with her, complete with a functioning camera and computer and the capabilitiy to place an online Costco order.

And so, we set off to make a card.

Since we were going to the ocean, mother decided a beach scene would be ideal for her festive card.

This may come as a shock to you all, but we do not live in a warm, tropical area of the world.

So, winter coats were the attire for the group.

Group photo attempt #1:

It was deemed unacceptable.

Group Photo Attempt #2:

Mom:  Now, Taylor.  Try to make my hair look not-so-windy.

Group Photo Attempt #3:

We have a winner!

My sister, Meagan, felt that she needed to send out cards for the first time ever.

Meagan is my younger, unmarried sister.

She would like to use this photo of her, LJ, and Little Dude:

I told her that the caption should read:

“Hello, friends!  I am sorry I have not kept in touch over the past couple of years.  A lot has changed!”

Hardy-har-har.

So, the kids loved spending time at the ocean and my ma got her Christmas card photo taken care of.

Regretfully, I forgot to bring sunblock.

So.

That was the ocean trip.

And later at the hotel, I helped my ma create her festive card and we placed an order for her to pick it up when we arrived home on Sunday night.

And did she pick them up?

No, dear readers.

No.

She did not.

She seems to think Christmaas will simply wait for her.

Happy Monday!

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23 Responses to The Christmas Card

  1. diana at home says:

    Holla Goober Parents! I have a couple of ’em too. It is MindyLou’s job to take care of them. I bear no responsibility.
    woot woot for *Dana Carvey* a.k.a. George Bush the First.
    the coast looks so inviting. am thinking Christmas would be nicer there. No Snow!

  2. Katie B says:

    Thanks for the Goober Update. Great pictures, looks like a great time. HaHa I am the first to post a comment.

  3. Ada says:

    Sounds like a fun time.
    I love the picture of all the grandkids. Great job Taylor!

  4. Jill says:

    You’re always supposed to blog when you have company coming over and things have to be done! That’s a rule! And I would be very worried if I had piles of laundry (I do) and Lucy was being very quiet around them. Something going wrong in there, I’m thinkin’!

  5. LeAnna says:

    Your ma sounds a wee bit like my MIL.

    And I’m trying to make that sound complimentary, in a gooberish sort of way. I don’t think my MIL has EVER sent out Christmas cards. Ever.

  6. 🙂 How about New Year’s cards?! This whole beach looks so familiar to me… of course all of the beaches in that general vicinity look very familiar to me, so I’ve got three to choose from, as I see it. 🙂 Glad your trip was all in all, a success.

  7. Parents…. thank goodness we will never be like that with our kids…

  8. ” Now, Taylor. Try to make my hair look not-so-windy.” Priceless!!

  9. Katie C says:

    All I have to say is – I thought your mom was a kid!!! Holy cow!! I just expected her to look, well, older…HA!! 🙂 That should brighten her day!! 🙂

  10. You are a very nice, patient daughter. Especially since she picked the picture where your child’s hair is windy-ish.

  11. datenutloaf says:

    Correct: your mom and cameras, watches, Christmas cards = do not mix. There are two kinds of folks in SoCal: ones who LIVE at the beach and go whenever; and those who GO to the beach. When they beach looks like that is when we don’t go. Hope you had fun, love to hear more about the trip.

  12. Noelle says:

    I want to go on a vacation to the coast.

    Looks like you had a great time! I love your parent stories!!!

  13. MindyLou says:

    Yes, diana at home, it certainly has become my job to take of the goober parents. It can be exhausting. But since she lives hours away, and my brother always has some good excuse, it is my job to take care of them. And they are just as bad as your mom, Taylor. My dad is scary on the internet. SCARY. I am afraid of what he will, literally, stumble upon accidentally someday. Pray for him. He will call me and say, “How did I get here?”. Oh dear. At least my mom knows she is clueless and leaves it to me. Most of the time.
    Glad you are back, dear, and that you had fun at the ocean! It looks the same as it does in August! Ha! Have fun with your friends coming over….

  14. michelle says:

    Glad you had a fun trip! Nice pictures.

  15. Debra says:

    I’ve loved your dad for a long time, now I love your mom too. Taylor can you fix my windy hair?? 😉

  16. Katie says:

    Just spent the day shopping with my mother. I love her, and she is, in fact, helping me with a major-ish project. But one more hour and I would have needed a sedative. (For whichever one of us is deemed to need it the most! HA!)

  17. Erin says:

    Welcome home 🙂
    Hope you left the puke bug at the beach.

  18. Christina says:

    Blog, then git ‘er done.
    I bet you got your house in great shape before your company arrived! 🙂 I hope you have a good time with friends.

  19. Andi says:

    It is 3am on December 21. I have not written a Christmas letter, which I do every single year. I cannot sleep tonight. Perhaps that is what I should be doing?

  20. Melissa says:

    Haha! When I started reading about the Christmas card I thought to myself, “Taylor is reposting from last year” =)

  21. Vicki B says:

    Oh my gosh Taylor. Your mother and I should meet. You should meet my daughter. We live parallel lives in a parallel universe. My husband used to be with Fed Ex. Fed Ex was created for people such as myself and your mother if for no other reason than Christmas. Fed Ex + employee shipping rates=presents arriving on Christmas Eve.

  22. Vicki B says:

    And cards. It was a very good discount.

  23. Christine C says:

    Maybe she was thinking of getting a jump on next years cards and plans to use these.

    I do like the one of how she went to yahoo to look for google. Too funny! Something my mom might do too:)

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