A Post About Painting, Inclement Weather, and Choking Hazards.

Yes, I am glad you asked.  We are still painting.  Or, more accurately, we are taking a sabbatical from painting.  Hence, the dragging out of the process.

But, hark!

The kitchen is done.

You may ask: “Taylor!  Would it have been SO hard for you to have put away the lunch food before snapping one of your super classy photos?”

Yes.  Yes, it would have been.

The astute reader might notice the container of coffee creamer by the coffee pot.  ‘Tis true.  I can no longer proudly announce that I drink only black coffee.  I gave up the creamer and had a good run, too.  But then, I had to start homeschooling the boy.  And, you know.  Something had to give.

The extremely astute reader might also notice that I have a sign above my kitchen window.  I have a special announcement to make.

Hold on to your pants, folks!

I, yes, I, Taylor Maliblahblah, made that sign.

All.

By.

My.

Self.

As if I could not be any cooler.  (And I am not)  I made it with the help of Sis-in-Law #1 and Sis-in-Law #2. So, I guess I just totally lied when I said I did it by myself.  But, whatever.   Sometimes, Lisa, Amy, and I have “Pinterest Days.”  This is where we create things we have seen on The Pinterest.  True, that sign is not on The Pinterest.  But we just let our creative juices flow.  We like to keep things loosie goosie.  As to not hinder the creative process.  Or something like that.

In the spirit of announcements, I have another announcement to make.  This one is kind of a big deal.

For the painting process, I have been the one removing and replacing all the electrical plates.

Like with a SCREWDRIVER.  I KNOW!

As I was putting the plates back on, I thought to myself:

“Teller.  This is probably what David does all the livelong day.”

Or at least during the trim part of a house.  And trim part is how cool people say “the finishing up” part of the house creating process.  FYI.  Oh! Because, are you new here?  My husband is an electrician.  Not a Lumberjack.  I know.  It doesn’t make sense.

And then I thought:

“I bet my husband is totally anal and has some specific way he likes all these stupid screws to point.”

I decided I would try to make them all matchy-matchy and I made all the screws end up vertical.

Like so:

Except, shoot!  The top left one looks a bit not-so-straight.  Oh, well.

Anyways!  The point is I guessed right!  He IS anal about it AND he likes them to stay vertical.

Dang.  I am so his soul mate.

Speaking of which, I love the guy.  I really do, it’s trye!  And I have a story to share.  I am really hoping that everyone understands what I am trying to say and I don’t make anybody mad with the following tale.

David went hunting on Tuesday.  He usually hunts on our property if he gets home from work on time.  He has a tree stand that he goes and sits on and, well, hunts.   I cannot see the tree stand from the house.

He came in from hunting and he gave me a funny look.  I asked him what was up and he did not tell me.  But, what else is new?

David.  Not chatty.

So, we drove to town to vote.  Like good citizens and all.  On the way back, I asked him why he looked at me like that.

David:  Oh, because I almost died in the tree stand.

Me:  What?!

David:  Seriously!  It was bad.  I thought it was the end.

Now.  People.  Being married to a guy like David is not for the faint of heart.  We have to worry about the guns and the hunting and the other people hunting and the getting lost in the wilderness and wild animals and the chainsaws and the tree felling and the tree possibly felling on the husband.  And sometimes I have to worry about the driving because he does a lot of driving and we sometimes have inclement (oooh!  A fancy word!) weather and deer darting to and fro and hither and don.

So.  Take everything that I worry about with him into consideration when you hear how he tells me he almost died.

Me:  What happened?!

David:  It was a Tootsie Pop!  I choked on it!

It was actually pretty scary sounding, to me at least.  He choked on a Tootsie Pop while in the tree stand and he could not breathe for at least thirty seconds.  He kept pounding on his chest over and over again until he finally coughed it up.  But since he was in the tree stand, no one would have ever known!  See?  Scary.

I did not like this story.  I might have to call a Husband/Wife safety meeting and remove all hard candy from the house.

Later on, I thought it was kind of . . . ironic.  I have spent so many hours worrying about him and all the crazy things he does.

And a Tootsie Pop almost killed him.

Not a stray bullet, a wild animal, falling tree, or icy roads.

A Tootsie Pop.  Crazy.

I am very glad he is ok.  He is my favorite.

This is Taylor signing off.

I also wanted to let you know it is snowing as I type.

And David will be driving home from work soon.

Goodbye.

 

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24 Responses to A Post About Painting, Inclement Weather, and Choking Hazards.

  1. rachel says:

    I looked out the window as soon as you said it was snowing as you typed…. alas, it is not snowing here. And I am amused in that ironic sort of way by the story of the tootsie pop. Yes, we fear so many things in life, but alas, if it is our time to go, it is our time to go. THANKFULLY it was not the Lumberjack’s time to go. IMHO it is ok to give a relieved chuckle when it doesn’t happen, you know. And I hope my comments don’t make anyone mad at me or worse at Teller. Afterall, she cannot control my thoughts on the matter eh!

  2. Brandy Sievers says:

    That husband of yours will cause grey hairs long before the lumberchildren do. I also like that you have Tillamook sour cream. This is the only sour cream we will eat here. It’s also the only cheese and the only ice cream that comes into our house. Mint chocolate chip and Mudslide are our favorites. My gpa was the head cheese maker at Tillamook Cheese Factory for 40 some years. Ha ha-head cheese. Was that a nice distracting comment? Sheesh.

  3. Joyce says:

    Maybe there’s some sort of emergency alarm type thing he could get to take with him when he’s hunting on the property. You know like an air horn or something in case he needs help? Now I’m going to worry. It is possible to give yourself the Heimlich using a chair or I suppose a tree should it be neccessary…you might want to google that.

    We had snow last night. Thankfully the roads were clear today because the roads are still not clear from the hurricane.

    Stay safe!

  4. Renee says:

    I choked on piece of hard candy when I was young, & talk about sure panic! Poor Lumberjack! On the other hand, you can look at it this way–if you ever worried that life in the wilderness with a lumberjack hubby & 4 lumberjack juniors was ever going to get boring–now you can rest assured–its NOT!

  5. Sandy says:

    ok, i am a little confused (what else is new). a tootsie pop is a sucker…on a stick (you must say stick like jeff dunham/jose). you would think being in the woods that mr. owl would have told him how many licks it took to get to the center without chocking on it! just for fun, start cutting your husbands food up like you would a toddler =o) by the way…LOVE THE PAINT COLOR!

  6. Gianna says:

    The first thought I had was (before I finished your post), “A TOOTSIE pop? A TOOTSIE pop almost killed him? When he does some many other things that are severely dangerous?”

    And then I finished your post.
    And I felt all warm and fuzzy because you had the same thought as me!

  7. The paint looks terrific! I am delighted that you have a peach free room. Seriously – delighted. It’s the little things, isn’t it?

  8. Michelle says:

    As you know my husband is in law enforcement and I often get the question of how can I handle that. And I do because I gave his safety to God years ago and that is how I sleep at night. But to be honest, he gets hurt more often outside of the job! I am so thankful David is safe and I do agree he needs a panic alarm that he can push that goes straight to you. 🙂 I am sure you will develop gray hair way before your time but hopefully it is all worth it!

  9. rachel says:

    as long as he won’t push the panic alarm because he wants more coffee….

  10. Christi says:

    I watched The Doctors today and they showed how to do a self Heimlich maneuver. Jam your fist around your belly button and lay your other hand over your fist, just like you would do on someone else, they lean against something that wont move and use it to help you jam your fist into your stomach.

  11. Kendra says:

    Glad he is ok, and yes he is your soul mate. If he isn’t, you are kinda stuck. The kids tie you to him… Shoulda thought of that one BEFORE we had kids. Shucks.

  12. Andi says:

    Love the paint! And I have performed the heimlich maneuver THREE times on ONE child!

    Glad David is still alive to anally line up all of the screws on the electrical plates.

  13. Angela Fehr says:

    Awesome. I mean, the whole post. The painting (see! I am not the only blogger who blogs about painting! Oh. You meant WALL painting. Never mind.), the sign (I love pallet wood signs!), the dangerous living husband who was almost done in by a Tootsie Pop. Imagine the headstone possibilities! (Here lies David Maliblahblah/With gun and axe he was handy/Master of electricity but never considered/He’d be felled by a piece of hard candy.) Too soon for humour? Okay.
    Also, I can totally relate. My husband is a mechanic slash carpenter who works with power tools, on high buildings and likes to race mud bogs in his spare time. I’ve given his life into God’s hands because I wasn’t helping matters by following him around going “Shouldn’t you find a safer way to do that?”
    Also, the screw lining up thing? Total marriage win! It’s those little idiosyncrasies (and learning to anticipate them) that make a marriage strong.

  14. Andi says:

    Hey! I just linked up this story with my blog! Just thought it was good etiquette to let you know…

  15. Suzanne says:

    I totally understand what you’re saying. My husband keeps me on my toes as well and he’s sort of, shall we say, accident prone. He hunts, fishes, has a million guns, walks around the roof like it ain’t no thang and does things like hop in his tree climber and cut limbs from tall trees….while I stand on the ground and watch and hope he doesn’t fall. He has a scar on his forearm and when I first met him I asked him what it was and he said “oh that’s where I got fatigued in a tree one time while I was cutting limbs and had to hug the tree and slide down it.” oh! I should have guessed.
    So trust me, I totally understand what you’re saying.
    I love the paint color!! It looks great!

  16. Brooke says:

    I never realized how beautiful your kitchen cabinets were until you got rid of the peach and brought in the green.

  17. Christina says:

    Look at you getting all crazy with the sign making and house painting and electrical work!
    I am very glad David is fine! No more candy for you! (I mean him, you know.) And yes to the idea that he has some sort of device to get in touch with someone if in real danger. (Opposed to all the fake danger of hunting, climbing, cutting, felling, driving…)

  18. Melissa K. says:

    I seriously love the paint color. And as soon as I saw that sign, I just knew you had made it. I believe in you! (‘Cause you’re good enough, you’re smart enough, and doggone it, people like you!)

    I’m so glad David is okay. Sometimes those little freaky incidents are the scariest. I’m terrified that I’ll one day have to perform the Heimlich Maneuver on myself.

  19. christine C says:

    I think you should (just to see if he notices) turn one screw in one outlet sideways, just to be a rebel:)

    Kitchen looks great. I noticed the sign before I read the post. Kudos to you!

    And I’m glad your back on the creamer. Coffee should be enjoyed not endured!

    Hide all tootsie pops and hard candies…

  20. Ooh I say! I love that sign above your kitchen window, clever girlie!

    Don’t suppose you have insurance taken out on David, have you? Just a thought. (Spot the wife of the Financial Planner … !)

  21. Debra D. says:

    Wow! Reading the whole part about the near-fatal-tootsie-roll-saga gave me a serious case of the pee pee shivers!

  22. datenut says:

    Yup Joyce, looks like Santa needs to bring a bullhorn to your electriclumberjack. Your new sign is fantabulous as well as the paint.

  23. Lisa Buchanan says:

    “Bind my wondering heart to Thee!” Ohhh! I want that! Love the song, need the quote! I just may copy you. But, probably not because that might fall under the qualification of “craft” of which generally makes me twitch and convulse until someone tells me I don’t have to do it.

    LOVE the paint color! It does make the cabinets look pretty!

  24. Missy says:

    Love. The. Sign. You could sell those things. For, like, money. That paint color is so soothing and way better than the peach. I totally love that you said “Dang, I am so his soul mate.”. I think that’s about the sweetest thing ever. Truly.

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